I wonder if any of my friends had a crush on me but then got to know me and were like “haha no, dodged a bullet there.”
I think I’m the only one clever enough to slice open my finger on a knife while making cake.
I didn’t even pick up the knife and I still wounded myself.
ok im just going to use this old scribble from twitter as an example
hope it makes sense!
The more swiss cheese you have, the more holes you have.
The more holes you have, the less swiss cheese you have.
Therefore, the more swiss cheese you have, the less swiss cheese you have.
Stop dividing by zero
Using y = mx + b to measure the slope of that ass
Mathematically incorrect. Unless the ass was linear, but that’s biologically incorrect. You’d probably wanna use something like y=ax^2+bx+c because the ass is a second degree polynomial curve.
actually, unless your ass is fuckin two dimensional, you’ll probably want to use
to approximate one cheek of a dual-ellipsoid shaped ass
shut up you fucking nerds
The “do and don’t do” of getting a job in
the land of opportunity‘MERICUH.
guys, this stuff needs to stop. in my year of being on tumblr i have seen countless posts like this one, saying “if i get [instert number of reblogs/likes/w/e] then i wont hurt/kill myself.” this is emotional manipulation and it is wrong.
first off, you are pressuring people you dont even know into doing something that means ultimately nothing. you are making people feel like if they dont reblog this you may do something rash and it will be their fault. the title, the first sentace, everything bout this is wrong and manipulative. doing stuff like this is often what classifies people as “poisonous”.
Another thing wrong with this post is that it is based on what some awful person said and they used what the other person said to make a bet of sorts. betting on people’s feelings is awful and you are guilt tripping them to win. i know that this person probably feels like shit, but to even consider turning this into a petty competition is amazingly shitty.
this is emotional manipulation, this is wrong and you are pressuring people to try to make yourself happy. its ok to want people to comfort you, but to threaten hurting yourself like this is awful and you are a terrible person for thinking it is ok.
if you are someone who does this then you are an awful person. Notes on a post on a dumb site mean nothing, what you are doing is manipulative and terrible. as a protip: if you feel like people dont care for you then talk to people you actually know, chances are they will say something they mean.
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
do you ever see a picture of your internet friend for the first time and you just kinda think
it appears i have accidentally befriended a beauty goddess.